After a wonderful experience walking in a 5K at the Transplant Games of America, we were hot, tired and headed home. When approaching Interstate 45, we noticed the one lane, one direction, HOV lane was "OPEN" and ready for use. As getting on the highway, we even commented on the service vehicle at the entrance monitoring, as there always is when it is open. We are cruising along enjoying the beautiful day, discussing our options for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Were we to go to Galveston Island and take the free ferry and see the dolphins and wildlife? Were we to hang out by our pool? What about going back into Houston later that night to our favorite Mediterranean restaurant and for the opening ceremony for the Transplant Games of America? What about going to the dog park with Renny? We had so many options and were not quite sure what we were going to do! The only thing we knew is we wanted to go home for a shower, see our fur babies, and recharge for a little while.
BRAKE, PROTECT YOUR HUSBAND, PROTECT YOURSELF, STAY ALIVE, STAY UPRIGHT, DON'T HIT THE RAIL, CONTROL THE SHAKING WHEEL, STAY OVER FAR ENOUGH NOT RAM INTO THE STREET SWEEPER HEADED STRAIGHT FOR YOU, YOU ARE NOT READY TO DIE. THIS ISN'T THE END.
Thoughts. Worries. Fears. Yes, those were all thoughts racing through my mind that Saturday morning. I was staring death straight in the face. I was looking at a possible end to my husbands life, my life, and looking directly into what could be a tragedy. I was trying to minimize the damage ahead, minimize the trauma, save our lives. I still get emotional thinking about this time. It was almost one week ago, and I still get shaky and anxiety just going through the memory, let alone getting in a vehicle.
Going 65 miles an hour in the HOV lane is considered conservative.
I am thankful I was conservative that day.
Being distracted by changing a song on the radio or cd is a common occurrence.
I am thankful I was not changing a song that day.
Being distracted by the phone ringing, searching for your phone..common occurrence.
I am thankful I was not searching for my phone that day.
Talking on the phone with one hand on the wheel, seems innocent enough.
I am thankful both hands were on the wheel that day.
Looking around at ones surroundings while driving...also a seemingly innocent happening.
I am thankful I was looking straight ahead that day.
Falling asleep, drooping eyelids, tired eyes, yawning, even sneezing...all things that can disrupt driving.
I am thankful I was awake, eyes wide open that day, with no allergies/sneezes that day.
Trusting yourself.
I am thankful my instinct was to trust myself that day.
Staying calm in a terrifying moment.
I am thankful I was able to stay calm in a terrifying moment that day.
Wheel shaking, centimeters away from the side concrete barrier, the street sweeper zoomed by my left only centimeters away from us. I was clenched, muscles tight, forehead scrunched, expecting an impact of some sort. Terrified.
As we screeched by, we still went another 15-20 feet...yes, still 15-20 feet.. After slamming on the brakes, and the street sweeper doing the same, we still were 15-20 feet away AFTER passing each other. If it weren't for every inch of that lane, we would have slammed head first into each other. Due to every inch of that lane, we walked away, no external scrapes or injuries to our bodies or the vehicles.
A few minutes later, another car abruptly stopped facing the halted street sweeper. They stated they also got on the HOV lane in downtown Houston and because the signs said open. Who's at fault? The city.
Scratches and injuries did occur. They are internal. They are in our minds and our hearts. We are changed. This experience has truly impacted me and Brendan in a large way. We are recovering together.
There are so many questions we ask. So many thoughts.
Our focus:
*We are ok. We are here. We are alive.*
Those three short phrases must be repeated in my mind countless times a day.
We love our life together, we love planning for our future, we love our families, we love our friends, we love our little girl dogs, we have so much happiness in our lives. We are so thankful we are still here to create more memories together and more memories with our family and friends.
Driving is difficult for us. It is especially hard for me right now. I know we will get through it. Together, the two of us will get through this. We can overcome anything, together.
Ask me how I am and I will say ok. Because thankfully, I am. I am ok.
PLEASE never use any HOV lane. Driving is risky enough, don't make it even more dangerous. Pay attention, get a blue tooth headset, have a car playlist, focus, be awake. Because if you don't, it is not worth it. It is not worth the trauma it could cause, whether you survive or not. Just avoid it these things. And avoid the HOV lanes.
Please, if you read this, just promise me, heck, promise yourself, you will forever stay away from any HOV lane.
And, drive safely. You never know when you may need those two hands on the wheel, those two eyes on the road ahead, and that brake so easily accessible by that foot.
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